The Life and Times of TinyToots, an Excerpt

Yesterday, I jumped into a bucket. Quite by accident, though. I was sitting on the windowsill of my bathroom and quietly enjoying my smoke. But I forgot that the bucket was underneath while getting off. So bucket and I fell. And there was a loud sound. And I hurt my knee. And the handle of the bucket came off, and I fixed it again with some difficulty. Very undignified. Somewhat bewildering as well.

And the world was out to piss me off yesterday. Prima donnas and morons and inconsiderate idiots and presumptuous bastards and plain stupid sour grapes. But Hanky and Waffle were nice to me. And I bought very beautiful notebooks. And had cherry brandy.

I have no money. Jerks made me work, but are not paying up now. Jerks. Morons. Other choice invectives. And I spent all my other money on books and food and coffee and computer things and camera. There are many people that I want to treat. But I'm so bloody broke. And my camera is on a plane. I want it. NOW.

I want two thousand rupees to buy pretty shoes and bags and t-shirts and backpack and earrings and batteries and coffee. And I want someone to buy me cigarettes. I'd like to feel pretty and pampered.