Wednesday, October 18, 2006


I'm feeling somewhat upset with myself tonight. For being stupid, really. I was offered a chance to write regularly for a newspaper, subject to my producing a decent article, but I procrastinated far too long out of my own true laziness, and then when I eventually sat myself down to write, I came up with something that was long-winded, and didn't really have much to say for itself. And it's not even like I didn't have incentive. So that's one window of opportunity that I have managed to slam shut for myself. Wonderful.
And then there's the matter of the foot. Carelessness really has its limits, and I think I crossed those with great deliberation Sunday before last. Being laid up at home is not good for my mind since I'm starved for company, and for fresh air. Neither is it any good for my studies or anything else, since all the work that needs to be done by the time I go back to university requires at least some amount of mobility and offline research. And the things that I could do online, I'm not doing them because, you know - I'm fucking lazy. Instead I'm sitting at the computer all day and downloading music because my net connection has suddenly speeded up, and whiling my time away doing other things. And despite my realising this, nothing is going to be different tomorrow, because I really, really can't bring myself to focus or concentrate or anything else. Honestly.
And then of course there's the thing that I can't blog about because the people concerned read my blog, as do many more people who know the people concerned.
I'm also feeling terribly restless. I feel the urge... no, the need to wander.

I think I need to do something drastically new with myself, something that I haven't ever done before.