Sunday, June 04, 2006

Hello, do you know me? Is there something that you can show me?

One month and then some days before I start classes again. More than one month of needing to find things to do with my time. There ought to be more to life than reading books, cleaning my room, sneaking a smoke in the bathroom. I don't have a job, I'm not going on vacation, I have nothing to contribute anywhere.
I crave motion, I crave company. I crave something to do.
I think I'm going to submit my M.A. admission form on Monday, and watch a movie with MB on Tuesday. I hope to meet RS and SB and M when they come to town, and LC and PC after they finish with their exams - but I don't know when. And that's all that there is to my plans for the summer. Wonderful, I say.
I went to MB's house today, and annoyed her, and bitched to her, and drank tea, and then cried on her shoulder.
I was supposed to visit cousins tomorrow, and watch a cousin's wedding video. But my aunt called to cancel.
I feel like posting maudlin song lyrics again, but I think I shall desist.
Two stray kittens took shelter on my stairs on Thursday when it rained. My mother and I took turns and fed them warm milk at night. They were white, with light brown patches on them. The more brown was the friendlier of the two, and made bold overtures and moved three steps towards us when we were sufficiently far away. But it scurried back when we tried to move closer. Scaredy cat. They slept outside my gate that night, curled into two little balls of fur. They left in the morning, and haven't been back since, even though my mother and I have been waiting, ready with milk.
I don't deal well with separation, with time that does not pass.
What am I going to do tomorrow?