Friday, December 16, 2005

callousness of college-goers? i think not.

walk into any calcutta college campus, and what is the one thing that you are absolutely certain to be greeted by? yes, hold your breath for it - litter! you are also sure to meet students, yes - but it's very unlikely that they'll greet you. so if that was your answer, i am not at all sorry to say that you're wrong. but the incipient hostility of the average calcutta college student is a different matter altogether - specialist, in fact - so we shall leave well alone.
anyway. i shall pontificate further based on personal experience on a certain
eminent campus, and generalise about the rest. and since i admit i am generalising, you are welcome (with open arms, no less) to disagree with whatever i am about to say.
eminent campus that i talk about, has many, many bins all across it. now, it is true that they may sometimes be tucked away into rather discreet corners - we wouldn't want to look shabby with random bins strewn here and there, would we? - but still, it is impossible to walk across campus for five minutes without seeing a bin. and yet, everywhere that you go, you meet litter. especially, in close proximity to the said bins.
it is this last incident that i want to draw your attention to - litter near and around bins. in fact, oftentimes, it is a circle of litter that defines the perimeter of the bin. one of the greatest quiz questions of all times, that nobody ever asks because everybody knows the answer to it, is
where are you most likely to find an empty bin? and yes, the answer is, indeed, right next to where all the garbage is.
remarkable as it is, why does this happen? you may ask. and i shall explain to you - you, who have been pushed into a state of sheer witlessness and supplication by this inscrutably mysterious phenomenon!
that's what it is. a simple ten letter word. and the reason behind this enigmatic occurence. yes, i understand you are not convinced, but please let me explicate further.
you see, the average calcutta young man has been brought up in an atmosphere of deep,
deep repression. they have spent their childhood and adolescence in a society where the three letter word beginning with s and ending in x, and with a vowel (which is not a, i, o or u) pinioned in between, is cloaked in an air and a layer of deepest dirt and slimiest sleaze. and therefore, engaging in something with such obvious sexual connotations as putting litter in a bin (taking something. then putting it into something else. get it?), and that too, in broad daylight, and in public, is just...vile. i mean, consciously of course, they know that there's nothing wrong with sex. but all those years and years of picking up on subliminal messages imparted by moralistic grandmothers, pompous principals, and others of the ilk - it's bound to have some kind of an impact on the subconscious of these young men, isn't it?
they try. they are acutely conscious of the evils of not thinking about the environment and ecology. but it's not in their hands. it's ingrained. repression shrouds their psyche. still, they really, really do try - which is why they get so close to the bins. logic and consciousness impels them on towards the bins, and they take what they have to trash, and prepare for the final act. but the harsh voice of thamma shrieking aei bablu, tumi ki korchho? somewhere in the deep recesses of the brain intervenes, and the little bit of trash flutters helplessly down to the ground, just outside the bin. and with red ears, shamefacedly, they retreat.
and if the bold young men have it this bad, can you even begin to imagine the tragedy of the demure young woman? i mean, think about it. public opinion has it that girls are even more repressed than boys. can you then, with a clear conscience, ever expect them to publicly engage in an act that is so terribly masturbatory?
i rest my case.

disclaimer: my sincerest apologies to all who actually do use dustbins. you are clearly not repressed.