Monday, October 24, 2005


the father has hijacked my room, and has been sleeping there for the past few days. and my bed is very low. and i mean really really low - it's all of ten inches high. now, the father likes to act out shaolin soccer and the like in his sleep - so while he is flailing his arms about, he often manages to cast his rings off into the great beyond. so the night before last, the beyond came closer and made itself comfortable under the furniture. and since the father requested that i retrieve his ring before the mother noticed it was missing, i had to oblige. and since i had to go really low in order to be see underneath the bed, i actually had to drag myself all around the room on my elbows and knees. it was not very dignified. felt like a scraggly person burrowing my through a trench.

headed out in order to visit the nephews. and ended up waiting in the rain for a bus for fifty-five effing minutes! and then the bus dropped me off at the wrong stop - i had asked the conductor to call me when the bus reached my stop; he forgot, apparently - and i had to find my way in the rain. finally managed to reach the nephews and the cousin two hours after i left home. and then the nephews and the cousin refused to consider that i should return home at some point during the day, and so i agreed to stay over. the mother arrived later, bringing me clothes, and insisted that i carry spares every time i leave home from now - this being the second time in two weeks that this kind of thing has happened.

in the meantime, the cousin, the nephews and the cousin of one of the nephews and i traversed murky waters to reach city centre. on the way, i managed to sink one leg into an open cavity on the footpath right up to the knee. and wandered all over city centre feeling rather stinky and dripping more than a little. CCD was packed - and we had to wait about twenty minutes for a table. and then we ate rather expensive and yummy stuff - but the cousin paid, so it's all good. and then headed back, picking up an assortment of CDs to watch for the night - charlie and the chocolate factory (crap), sin city (brilliant), ocean's eleven (nice) and four brothers (slept through it). couldn't locate the clothes that the mother brought, so stayed in the nephew's jeans - held up with great difficulty with a belt. the movie marathon started post dinner (ruti and three huge pieces of tandoori chicken - yummy!) - and ended sometime at about seven thirty in the morning - i lasted till six thirty; i think everybody else conked out at some point or the other during the night. very bad instant coffee, oreos and milk was consumed at a quarter to four in the morning. the nephews and the cousin of the nephew were much peeved and disturbed and disgusted by sin city - probably wasn't a very good idea of the cousin and mine to let them watch it.

now the entire brood is hovering about, trying to monitor my internet usage, and censoring every sentence. and they are much offended by my saying this.

also happened: woke up with the nephew sleeping on my face. he's a wee bit hefty. three inches taller than me, and ten kilograms heavier. also gave selfsame nephew piggyback ride down a flight of stairs. general consensus - i am very strong, and for such a scrawny person, have inexplicable biceps and spectacularly well-developed calf muscles. the other nephew is slightly older, but a lot lighter, thanks be to god. and the cousin of the nephew is skinny, and about a foot taller. the older nephew is twelve years and eight months old, the younger a month gone twelve. the cousin of the (older) nephew is fifteen. have been patted on the head many times by all. sigh. i don't know when i'm going to get home.

and i will update this post if i remember anything more.

update: i am home, finally. and tiny little bits and pieces of weirdness are coming back. so here goes. the older nephew made me sit on his feet at six in the morning because they hurt. i fell asleep leaning on his knobbly knees. the other nephew nearly broke my jaw with his elbow. the cousin was much appreciated for spending much money on us, and much reviled for being single at twenty seven, and much threatened in advance in case he ever decides to spend more money on hypothetical girlfriend than on us. i got off light - paid only for cotton candy and popcorn. scared the life out of the younger nephew by pretending to be dead after he'd mock-strangled me - once yesterday, and again today; today i kept still even while he dragged me off the couch and rolled me onto the floor to check for signs of life - he was very very freaked. i am an overgrown juvenile delinquent. and i have lost count of the number of times i was squished nearly to death because i am, to quote, "so soft and squeeeeeeeeeezy!"